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Our First Time  


Stuart Quine
(@stuartquine0gmail-com)
Eminent Member
Joined: 5 years ago
Posts: 29
Topic starter  

                                                                                                        Our First Time

Holding her arms behind her back with one hand I start to unbutton her shirt. She could easily break my grip but plays along. Releasing the clasp of her bra, her breasts fall free. Kneeling, I trail little kisses down her belly, dip my tongue into her navel and undo her jeans. Fingers inside her waistband and pants I pull them over her hips and down her legs. Steadied by my  hands she kicks them away and shrugs her shirt and bra from her shoulders. Before and above me, naked save for her socks, my girlfriend's lovely body and smiling face. Across her skin slanting sunlight through the slatted window.

Taking a step backwards she tumbles laughing onto my narrow bed. I quickly undress and climb on beside her. Tugging off her socks she gigggles as I suck her toes and kiss her feet.

"Make love to me" she says, suddenly serious.

"Are you sure you're ready?"

"I'm sure."

I reach under the pillow and retrieve the pack of Durex. She opens a foil sachet with her teeth, takes out the condom and rolls it down my penis.

"Come on babe. Be gentle. It's my first time too".

And on a sunny day in 1979, me sixteen and her fifteen) we lose our virginity.

 

                                                                                           Summer moon rising...

                                                                                            she sleeps in my arms

                                                                                           our legs entwined.

Best wishes, Stuart.


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Heather Dyer
(@heatherdyerbooksgmail-com)
Eminent Member
Joined: 5 years ago
Posts: 23
 

Great haiku, and the reference to 'the' Durex is effective. The scene itself is effective too but I couldn't help feeling that the narrator came across as a little too experienced/confident for a very first time?! Maybe that's just me...

 

h


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George Marsh
(@george-marsh)
Eminent Member Admin
Joined: 5 years ago
Posts: 49
 

I like the subject - I'm a pushover for this, it rings my bell and I have a Pavlovian excitement. The double entwining of the haiku is charming and sculptural. I take Heather's point, and also find the 'are you sure you're ready?' comes rather too late in the scene, at a point when it is redundant and means nothing. G


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